why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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