I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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