So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
