i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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