I need help removing her.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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