so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
