Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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