It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
