I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
