Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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