i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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