Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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