Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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