some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
