I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
