stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
