he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
