found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
