My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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