Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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