whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
