I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
