Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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