Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
