Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
