I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
