Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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