Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
