i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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