I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i came on her dog
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
