oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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