I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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