well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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