You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
