I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just want to make out with him forever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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