Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
