he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
