their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
