my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
