And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
