everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
