You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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