Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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