Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm like, not good at living.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
