I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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