He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
