i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
