so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
