I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
