Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
