Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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