i don't like sucking hair
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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