if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
